Wuffles
by ScarletDeva
Summary: A combination of Earth Science (TM) [Jane Foster is TOTALLY a Science Bro!] and Asgardian Badassery (TM) [or is it badabery? Oh Thor and his magnificent abs!] has defeated the dark elves, leaving the universe safe once more. And. Er. The streets of Greenwich a mess. Not to mention that giant Frost Beast chasing midgardian avians. Yeah hey what about that?
1. Wuffles

**Wuffles**

By: ScarletDeva

Author's Note: So the hubby took me to see Thor 2 (which I sekritly refer to as Hair World. I mean right? How good does everyone's hair look?) And on the way home, amid shouts of EARTH SCIENCE! (he isn't totally right in the head but I love him anyway, gods bless his funny little brain) he stumbled on a mental image that he then refused to write himself. So I threw myself on that hand grenade. And um yeah - there really isn't any Jane or Thor here.

Summary: A combination of Earth Science (TM) [Jane Foster is TOTALLY a Science Bro!] and Asgardian Badassery (TM) [or is it badabery? Oh Thor and his magnificent abs!] has defeated the dark elves, leaving the universe safe once more. And. Er. The streets of Greenwich a mess. Not to mention that giant Frost Beast chasing midgardian avians. Yeah hey what about that?

Disclaimer: You know.

* * *

The SHIELD cordon around Greenwich was efficient and encompassing but it did little, if not nothing at all, to keep the golden and scarlet figure from tumbling loops in the clouds and then setting down right where the Dark Elf ship rammed into the harbor.

"Excellent landing, sir," Jarvis said dryly in Iron Man's helmet.

"Thanks, buddy," Tony replied absently as he surveyed the destroyed landscape, cars strewed upside down, chunks of masonry, torn up trees flung on their sides, and bits of various alien worlds.

"Stark!" called Maria Hill as she rushed from the cordon line.

"Oh hey, Hill, busy," he called back and engaged his thrusters, rising above six feet to hover in the air as he slowly spun around, "bother me later. I'll make time to harass you. Promise."

"STARK," she yelled in frustration.

"Don't let your head explode there," he cautioned with a grin she could hear, "Pepper made me promise that I would be nice to you for at least a week. I'm pretty sure causing you to self-immolate would make her mad."

Maria groaned. "You have ten minutes, Stark, then I want you out!"

"That's okay. That's all I need," he replied cheerfully as he banked and headed towards the street. "Got a lunch meeting with Jane Foster. Oh and Fabio too."

The street was just as torn up, pavement pitted and ripped, becoming more so as the Frost Beast chased after fleeing birds with a playful growl.

"Are you sure about this, sir?" Jarvis asked cautiously. "I don't believe that Ms. Potts would approve."

"Hey, normal people have cats, rich people have toy dogs, but what does a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist have? I'll tell you what," Tony proclaimed as he landed in front of the Frost Beast. He set down a shielded carry-pack and withdrew a large, raw side of beef. Then he held out a gauntleted hand, meat juices dripping over his fingers. "This guy. This guy has a giant, alien puppy."

"I see, sir," Jarvis replied dubiously.

The Frost Beast eyed Tony then huffled, moving closer, and Tony waved at him with the beef.

"Stark!" Maria shouted behind him, half bewildered and half resigned.

"Hush, Hill, don't interrupt a genius at work." The Frost Beast approached and almost gently nipped at the huge chunk of meat. "There you go, buddy. I think... I shall call you Wuffles." Tony nodded, the helmet gleaming in the early afternoon sun. He thought Maria may have sobbed a little.

It was a good day to be Tony Stark.

"Tony!" Pepper's voice broke through Jarvis' channel.

"Oh hi, honey," he said with a grin. "Guess what? I'm bringing you a pet! Now I gotta go! Love you!"

He cut the comm line even as Pepper began listing the bodily harm that would await him, an action he was sure to pay for later - and maybe enjoy - and pressed a button on his shielded carry, the metal plating expanding to turn into a carry-cage large enough for Wuffles.

It was definitely a good day to be Tony Stark.


	2. Coda

**Coda**

Author's Note: Thanks to the contributions of my friend Jen and a lovely reviewer named Sapphiregirl, I realized that this wasn't quite neatly wrapped up. So I added this lovely ribbon.

* * *

That night, Tony brought Wuffles home to his specially designed doggie house, play area and insanely expensive, specially formulated meat diet. And it was that special meat diet that he then promptly forgot to fill Wuffles' bowl with the next morning in favor of designing and building wee robot birds for Wuffles to chase. It took until 1:42 in the afternoon before Pepper took pity on the sulking Frost Beast and filled his bowl herself. And it took another four days, seven hours, twenty-two minutes and three seconds until she had Wuffles trained to come when called, roll over and generally behave like the most civilized dog in Midgard, of giant alien extraction or otherwise.

It only took another forty-nine minutes and thirteen seconds for Tony to notice, right after he blew out the window in the study with just a wee, teeny, tiny experiment.

It was another five minutes before Pepper shook her head and asked Jarvis why, oh why couldn't Tony be half as well-behaved as Wuffles. To Tony's protests, the giant alien puppy took only two seconds to lop over to the redhead, tongue lolling, and offer her his ear for scratching all the while completely ignoring his official owner (if Frost Beasts could actually have owners).

While Tony orated on the high quality of his behavior and the treacherous affections of giant alien puppies, Jarvis spent .04845435 seconds to decide that silence was the better part of valor even as he recorded the scene to share with Rhodey.

As Rhodey turned away from his report to watch the video that Jarvis sent him, he realized that, in fact, it was a good day to be James Rhodes.

Although if you asked Wuffles? If he bothered to leave his tasty treats, the pretty red-topped Midgardian who scratched where it itched and the chittering metallic thingies flew away from him until he batted them to the ground with his paw... Well, Wuffles would tell you it was always a good day to be Wuffles.

(And, for the record, it took Maria Hill three hours after her workday ended and two shots of whiskey before the memory of dealing with Tony Stark - AGAIN - faded pleasantly around the edges. It was never a good day to be Maria Hill.)


End file.
